Experiences with Amma
Mr. Shaker Viswanathan
Senior Executive, Qualcomm
San Diego, California
Amma says that God gives you not what you want, but what you need. This is one of the most valuable lessons that I have learned from Amma. This speaks to developing humility, acceptance and being happy every day. Though Amma says that God gives what we need, I do know that Amma gives us not only what we need, but also what we want.
Over the course of years, I have noticed Amma dealing with each and every one of her devotees at different levels. No problem is too trivial and no issue is insurmountable. I remember one question that was put to Amma by a devotee. He wondered that since so many millions of people come to Amma and so many of them are so much more advanced and devoted than he, how would Amma be able to remember him and his tiny desires and wants? This devotee framed the same question and doubt that I had had, so much more eloquently. Amma’s response was beautiful and spontaneous in that she said every one of her devotees has a direct link to her and she hears every one of our sincere desires and prayers. It is a hard concept to grasp when we relate to Amma as a human. How can she have a direct link to all of her millions of devotees, but incredibly she does. The mind plays so many games; I have so many conflicting desires that I am glad not all of my wishes and desires are granted. But it is so gratifying when Amma does grant some of our wishes.
One of Amma’s older devotees who has known Amma for several decades was kind enough to share one of his experiences. It was his birthday, and he wanted to have Amma’s darshan before 12 a.m. so that he could tell Amma that it was his birthday. He said Amma gave special blessings to devotees on their birthdays and he did not want to miss it. His token number had not come up and he was anxiously waiting. By the time he could join the line, it was past 11:30 p.m. The line did not move quickly enough and he was very disappointed that he missed getting his darshan before the day ended. When he finally went for darshan, he told Amma that his birthday was yesterday and he had just missed seeing Amma on his birthday. Amma smiled at him and told him to look at his watch and amazingly, the watch showed that it was few minutes before 12 a.m. He was delighted. To this date, he says he doesn’t know how that happened, but to him, Amma is nothing but Devi herself and he is not surprised.
During the Boston Devi Bhava program in July 2008, a seven year-old boy went along with his father up for darshan. All children are very special for Amma, but I have always felt that this boy is very special to Amma. This little boy is so dedicated to Amma that he insisted that his father take a trip across the country from San Francisco to see Amma in Boston and attend Devi Bhava. He does not eat or sleep the entire time that Amma is giving Bhava Darshan. This boy serves as a role model to me for his dedication and devotion to Amma. When he went for darshan, it was almost 7 a.m., and Amma had been giving darshan a little over 12 hours. This boy asked Amma how to build a paper boat. I remember my childhood days when we used to build double boats and single boats with paper and let them float in a bucket of water or running water when it rains. The boy’s father later told me that Amma told him to make single boat and not a double. She then got some paper and showed him how to make a single boat and proceeded to make one for him. All of this took probably five minutes or more, and, of course the darshan line had stopped completely. She then asked the boy to come to her side and practice making the boat right then and there so that he would learn and remember.
This was truly fascinating. A realization dawned on me that she took the boy’s desire so seriously that she stopped darshan to make a paper boat, to the extent of making the boy learn by practice. I have read several saints stating that Avatara Purushas have so much compassion that they come down to our level to teach us basic things, when in their true nature, they find all noble acts and grandiose desires childish and inconsequential. This demonstration of Amma was astounding in that she ignored her own bodily needs and wants to satisfy the smallest desire of her devotee.
A few years ago, I was going through a rough patch in my life. I was sincerely hoping and praying that I would be able to see Amma. This was after Amma’s North American tour and I knew that there was no way that I was going to be able to see Amma. Yet, my heart ached for her. I often traveled internationally for business reasons and during one of those trips, I boarded a flight which connected through Frankfurt, Germany. There was some problem with the air traffic control at Frankfurt and our flight could not land and was circling for over an hour and half. Finally, when we did land, my connecting flight had already left. There was another flight that my colleague and I could have taken which was to leave six hours later. I refused to get on that flight, even though my colleague insisted that we should. Something made me resist getting on that flight, and I was able to convince my colleague to take the next day’s flight.
Our flight was scheduled to depart at 7 a.m., so we arrived at the airport by 5:30 a.m. While I was walking around looking for a place get coffee, I saw a couple of women dressed in white sarees, and it just dawned on me that Amma’s San Ramon winter program in the US would begin in couple of days. Because I had been so busy with work, I had completely forgotten that Amma travels to San Ramon every November. I figured out that these devotees were probably trying to get to San Ramon and were in transit. When I finally found a place where I could buy some coffee, I saw Swami Amritatmananda getting coffee as well. I now realized that Amma was in Frankfurt, so I ran up to Swamiji, gave my pranams and asked whether Amma was going to be coming to the airport soon. Swamiji confirmed that Amma was in Frankfurt, and their flight was scheduled to depart from that terminal but their flight departure time was around
8 a.m. The chances that Amma would come to the airport before 7 a.m. were unlikely; she would probably arrive around 7:15 a.m.
Of course my heart was hoping that Amma would somehow decide to show up early. Although it was getting late for my flight, I was hanging around, hoping Amma would show up. Just past 6:40 a.m. Amma walked into the terminal, much earlier than expected. The joy in my heart knew no bounds. I fell at her feet and got the wonderful hug that I had longed for. I introduced my colleague who also got a hug. My colleague was urging me to leave, since the doors at our flight’s departure gate were about to close. I told him to go ahead and that if I happened to miss the flight, I would take another one. I was not about to miss my chance to spend a few minutes to talk with Amma. Amma told me that they were supposed to have left Frankfurt the previous day but because of air traffic control, their flight was cancelled. She spoke to me about the huge crowd in Europe and asked me about what I was doing in Frankfurt and where I was traveling. I couldn’t believe that I was speaking to Amma for 15 minutes. Finally, with five minutes remaining before my scheduled flight departure, I reluctantly took leave of Amma and ran to the gate and made my flight.
Once I embarked the flight, I realized that Amma had so much compassion that she was able to listen to my aching heart and made impossible things happen so that I could see her. Frankfurt Airport is huge with many terminals, so it would have been impossible for me to have seen Amma, had my flight been assigned to a different terminal. I wouldn’t have even known that Amma was in Frankfurt, had my flight had been leaving from a different gate in the same terminal. I was able to see Amma only because the departing gate for my flight was so close to Amma’s flight.
These things happen only due to Amma’s infinite compassion. I have no words to express my gratitude for the torrent of love that she pours except to strive to be at least deserving of it. Amma satisfies our desires whether it be from a child, an old man or anyone in between. I hope I can learn from the seven-year old boy and the old man’s love and dedication for Amma.